Books & Breasts

From a Banned Book, which I will not give up

I will pass it on however

“I hope it will not be shunned by men and women on that account, for part of my plan has been to try to pleasantly remind adults of what they themselves were and how they felt and thought and talked. And what queer enterprises they sometimes engaged in”.

Hartford 1876

While pulling out rabbit fur I got to smiling, not because I was fondling fur; no, the project which will be a crib blanket, got me thinking about the time the baby wasn’t happy.

Baby’s are like that, they be clean, they be full, and they are being held

still they are not happy.

Just because we Men do things different don’t make us wrong Ladies

we just do things different

So there I was being told, you babysit while I go to town

Why is it Women child rear while guys babysit? She just at looked at me said nothing. Off she went and that’s when trouble started: The baby was clean, belly was full, and I was rockin the chair….. still that constant WHAAAAAAAAAA never stopped. Now have any of you got a flyer saying buy any 4 magazines an get a fifth free? The only one I remember is the free one (to which I may add, I didn’t order)

SHE DID

Sitting there on the coffee table was the playboy with the word volcano on the cover

so holding on to baby I leaned forward, grabbed the magazine, and leaned back. I started reading that article an baby went quiet. Was like a switch had been flipped, few minutes later the child was sleeping. So I kept reading about the ring of fire around the Pacific ocean. Everything was going great until she opened door.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU READING TO THAT CHILD!!!!!

we are learning about volcanoes…said in a calming voice

it was right then the baby started back up with it’s WHAAAAAAAAAA

that’s when I got up outta the rocker, careful not to drop the child

passed it to Woman like a football. while sayin

I’m goin fishin, the chinook are runnin

once the pass was complete I stated matter of factly

the kid likes volcanoes

I keep the fish gear by the door so it’s always at the ready

by the time I got off the porch the child was quiet

that’s right kid, before those were yours…. they were mine

compared to the day when mother was banging on the window while screaming

He’s boiling the child on the wood stove!

it really wasn’t such a bad day of fishing