Sean Connery once said
“I like Women
I don’t understand them.. but I like them”
over hearing a phone call
hubby “Babe I’m at Lowe’s what type of ceiling fan did you want for living room ?”
Wifey: “ I don’t care pick what you think looks good”
hubby: “ok you sure?”
Wifey: “ it’s a fan you can’t screw that up”
That’s Red Skelton with his wifey
he had some views on the perfect marriage
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays
.2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
.3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested the kitchen
.5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said “There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!”
So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, “In the lake.
“8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
.9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late for the garbage?” The driver said, “No, jump in!”.
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was ‘Always’.
12. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?”
I said, “Dust!”.
when humor didn’t have to start with a four letter word or be political.
It was just clean and simple fun.
he always ended his programs with the words
“And May God Bless”with a big smile on his face