The Accurate Version …

It is time to provide the accurate version of events in the “Bear” household at breakfast time.

A far more accurate account of  the events of that fateful morning…. 


Baby bear goes downstairs,
  sits in his small chair at the table.

 
He looks into his small bowl. It is
  empty. 

‘Who’s been eating my 
porridge?’ he squeaks.
 

Daddy Bear arrives at the  big table and sits in his big chair. 

He looks into his big bowl and it
  is also empty. ‘Who’s been eating my porridge?!?’ he roars.

 Mummy Bear puts her head   through the serving hatch from  the kitchen and yells, ‘For God’s  sake, how many times do I have  to go through this with you idiots?

 
It was Mummy Bear who got up
  first. 

It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house. 

It was   Mummy Bear who made the coffee. 


It was Mummy Bear who unloaded
  the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. 

It was  Mummy Bear who swept the floor  in the kitchen. 

It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper  and croissants. 

It was Mummy  Bear who set the damn table. 

‘And now that you’ve decided to
  drag your sorry bear-arses downstairs and grace Mummy  Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I’m only  going to say this once…. 



‘I HAVEN’T MADE THE
 
****ING PORRIDGE YET’

You are very welcome for this midweek infomercial and humor and can thank UncleE for providing it to me.