It has been W A Y to long since we had a thread just for humor! Peruse your electronic files and provide us with a laugh!
A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn’t take it so she said, “Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.”
Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said, “Come on, honey. Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here.” A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, “Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!”🤔😎🤓🙀
A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired.
At the next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control pills.
“Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are birth control pills?”
“Yes, they help me sleep at night.”
“Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these that could possibly help you sleep!”
She reached out and patted the young doctor’s knee and said, “Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16-year-old Granddaughter drinks. And believe me it definitely helps me sleep at night.”
For my finale…..
One morning, a blind bunny was happily hopping down the bunny trail when he suddenly tripped over something large and fell, ker plop, right on his twitchy little nose. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” said the bunny. “I didn’t mean to trip over you, but I’m blind and can’t see!”
“That’s perfectly all right,” replied the voice of a snake. “It was my fault too. I’m blind as well, so I didn’t see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?”
“Well, I’m not really sure,” said the bunny. “I’ve been blind my whole life and have never seen myself. Maybe you could feel me and tell me what I am?”
The snake agreed, and he gently felt the bunny all over. “Well,” the snake said, “you’re soft and cuddly, with long silky ears, a fluffy little tail, and an adorable twitchy nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!”
The bunny beamed with happiness. “Thank you so much! But what about you? What kind of animal are you?”
The snake paused for a moment, then said, “I’ve never known either. Maybe you could feel me and find out?”
The bunny agreed and carefully felt the snake from head to tail. After a moment of thought, the bunny replied, “Well, you’re cold, you’re slippery, and… you have no balls. You must be a politician!”