Author’s Note: The following is fictional parody and as such refers to no real person living or dead. If by chance, as you read this and it seems to comport with your identification of a real person; I make it clear, it is not my intention to defame or elevate any person, living or dead.
Four fictional characters will be the focus of this look at a fictional Congress. First is Senator “Old Fossil”, second is Senator “Schnob”, followed by House representatives, Congressman “Yells a Lot” and Congressman “Too busy to Answer”.
These fictional persons reflect all too clearly many of our elected officials in that they feel that it is beneath their dignified status to engage with their “less than they” constituents, and it is the duty of their staff members to answer the people THEY were elected to serve.
As a three thousand page (Pork Filled) bill that covers numerous issues comes out of committee, Senator Old Fossil leaves to attend a ribbon cutting ceremony in tiny Abluristan where the Chinese mining interest “Who Flung Dung” is about to start mining lithium for export to the US. Senator Schnob runs to attend a fundraising event featuring a trio of top-less contestants in a pan cake turning competition.
Neither man is available when this so-called important bill is to be voted on and request that their vote be allowed to count by internet despite Constitutional Law (Article 1, Section 5, Clause 1). As neither man has read the bill, they have assigned their staff members to read the bill and prepare a bullet point synopsis for them to give them cover and plausible answers in order that the bill passes out of the Senate.
As Congressman Yells a Lot and Congressman Too Busy to Answer find this enormous legislative piece hits their desk, they too find that it is imperative they find irrelevant issues they must attend to. Yells a Lot is bound for the US – Mexican border to put his stamp of approval on President Do Nuthin’s Operation Freedom Initiative to expand amnesty for more illegal immigrants; while Too Busy to Answer is bound for NATO headquarters to demand more money for a continuing civil war in the NATO member nation of Destitution.
Both of these Congressmen assign their respective staffs to follow the steps of their Senatorial colleges; to prepare edited versions of the legislation with bullet points to high-light talking points that reflects their approval or disapproval of the legislation.
They also expect to be able to record their votes by internet despite the Constitutional requirement of in person voting as per Article 1, Section 5, Clause 1 requiring a Quorum in order to conduct business.
What these.. Ahem!!! Mental giants have overlooked is that the public did not vote for staff members but the Senators and Congressmen to read all bills in their entirety, then do the People’s business without the personal biases their staff members may impart.
Walt Mow 2024